Carry a pocket knife because

It can be useful for:
1. Opening a box.
2. Cutting rope, tags, and string.
3. Cutting an apple. I love eating an apple that I’ve cut with my pocket knife, slice by slice. You feel like a bad ass doing it. You hold the apple in your non-dominant hand and then make a slice with the knife using your dominant hand. After you make the slice, pinch it between your thumb and knife blade. Bring the blade to your mouth and deposit the apple slice. Do this in front of people you are trying to intimidate.
4. Opening a letter. Sure, you could use your finger, but using a knife is just more manly.
5. Weapon. Not the most effective, but it’s better than nothing.
6. Camping. How else will you sharpen the point of a stick in preparation for stabbing your prey? And by prey I mean hot dog. And by hot dog I mean marshmallow.
7. You never know when you’re going to have to MacGyver your way out of a crisis. Be prepared.
8. You need something to clench in your teeth when swinging from a rope.